The First 100 Days: A Recap

December 4, 2016

The first 100 days seem important. Just ask Trump about all the people speculating what he will (or will not) accomplish in his first 3+ months as president. Since today is my 100th day as a mom, I’ve recapped a few of my own accomplishments, which may look a lot like yours. [Insert hand patting ourselves on the back here.]

One. Became a mother. Can’t forget this one; so obvious yet so subtle. There used to not be a Jack, but after 38-ish hours of labor and an hour of extra heavy breathing, there became one. This still blows my mind.

Two. Learned how to do a lot of things with one hand. Make dinner, eat dinner, put on makeup (on the off-chance I wear it), start laundry, write this blog post.

Three. Learned how to do some things with no hands (look, ma!), like adjust the TV volume and pick up my phone. The moral of this story is toes are awesome.

Four. After hardly being able to go minutes without peeing during my third trimester, I can now go hours. The elasticity of the mom bladder is a beautiful, necessary thing.

Five. Almost perfected the four-minute shower, complete with shampoo, conditioner, and shaving almost up to my knees (nicks minimal).

Six. Became one with the slow cooker. Chili, pot roast, enchiladas, meatloaf. Nothing is off limits, giving rebirth to the phrase “what a bunch of crock.”

Seven. Learned to trust myself to drive the baby in the car. You won’t fully appreciate this until you have to do it for the first time. Turning right on a red and driving over speed bumps take on a whole new level of careful.

Eight. Have taken the baby grocery shopping. See above: you won’t fully appreciate this one either.

Nine. Can finish said grocery shopping while the baby is crying without feeling too embarrassed or over-apologizing to my fellow patrons. On a related note: Learned life goes on when your baby cries in public.

Ten. Developed supernatural ability to operate on short, sporadic spurts of sleep. Third trimester began to prepare me for this, but ability refined and perfected during the past 100 days.

I think this is a pretty solid list, if I may say. The bar has been set, Mr. Trump. Good luck.

10 Things I Learned My First 100 Days As A Mom

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