An Apology To Moms Who Have Come Before Me

November 17, 2016

To the moms who have come before me, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for rolling my eyes when your baby cried on the plane or in the restaurant. I’m sorry for not letting you go ahead of me in the grocery store line. I’m sorry for being irritated when it took you extra time to get your kids in the car and all I wanted was your parking space.

I’m sorry for resenting you for leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. prompt to head to daycare. I’m sorry for griping when you didn’t email right back because it was bath time.

I’m sorry for questioning why you gave up your career and chose to stay home or why you chose to stay at home from the start.

I’m sorry for pitying you when you couldn’t drink wine for the nine months of your pregnancy and the twelve months you breastfed thereafter. I’m sorry for judging you when you had a sip every now and then.

I’m sorry for feeling uncomfortable when you breastfed in public.

I’m sorry for underestimating what it took to keep the baby fed, the house cleaned, the dog entertained, groceries in the fridge, and the laundry in the washer turned over fast enough so it doesn’t smell of mildew.

I’m sorry, and I get it now.

Over the past twelve weeks, I’ve breastfed in dressing rooms to calm a hungry babe. I’ve breastfed in open plazas and in the backseat of my car.

I’ve quickly exited restaurants and shops. And though we haven’t flown yet as a family, I’m prematurely dreading being the mom with the crying kid making the other passengers cringe. Maybe I’ll pass out candy beforehand.

I’ve snuck sips of wine and even of my husband’s beer, particularly when the baby has had a rough evening because he hasn’t slept for most of the day and is beyond exhaustion, and then felt guilty afterwards.

I’m still on maternity leave, but I already know the challenges I’ll face when I return to work: learning to say no sometimes, not out of laziness but necessity; letting my colleagues down; feeling like I’m not pulling my weight, at the office or at home. I’ve daydreamed of staying home full time. My return is fast approaching.

I’ve washed the same load of laundry three times in as many days, and still there have been nights my husband and I have gone to sleep in clothes that don’t smell just right. Sometimes the fridge doesn’t smell right either, and the dog hasn’t had a proper walk in days.

But I wouldn’t change it for a thing. And I don’t say this all to complain. I only say it to say I get it now. I really do. And I’m sorry for misunderstanding you before. Please forgive me.

An Apology to Moms Who Have Come Before Me

 

 

10 thoughts on “An Apology To Moms Who Have Come Before Me

    1. Brooke Post author

      Thanks, Megan! And thanks for reading — I’m excited to start following along on your blog! Happy Thanksgiving week. — Brooke

      Reply
    2. Brooke Post author

      Hi Megan! Thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting. I’m sorry for taking so long to write back. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!

      Reply
  1. Kelly Tomasulo

    Welcome to the tribe!!! May the odds be ever in our favor! 🙏🏻🙌🏻👏🏻👊🏻💪🏻 #momminainteasy

    Reply
  2. Kelly Tomasulo

    Amen sister. Next chapter shall be titled: pumping in strange places and will the tears ever stop. I’ve confident to say you’ll be just fine. Hang in there and. La there are many of us there for u always.

    Reply
    1. Brooke Post author

      OMG love this — next chapter: pumping in strange places and will the tears ever stop. Hahaha. Hilarious! I’d love to grab coffee next time we’re in town! We can exchange tales of motherhood. 🙂 I’d love to hear more about how you balance working and being a mama. I return to work in February.

      Reply
  3. Dionne

    Perfect words! Crazy to think we ever said we “understood” before having one of our own. Life is going to be ever changing and filled with many ups and just as many downs (mainly personal downs). But as my friend just told me not two days ago, you are not alone and if it ever gets too hard (because it does sometimes) remember it’s OKAY to have a drink guilt free, breast feed in public, let your kid throw a fit and ignore it, tell anyone no (but nicely), and ASK for help or break when you just need a timeout. Mommies have the best and toughest parts to parenting and you never need to be sorry. Advice from one new working mom to another, if you can practice dropping off and going for a bit start now because day 1 makes for “hot mess mommy” if you’re anything like me and how my emotions were even 3 months in. You have my number if you ever need to chat or have a weird new mommy question. Great words!!!

    Reply
    1. Brooke Post author

      Hi Dionne! I’m sorry it has taken me so long to reply — thank you so much for reading and commenting on my blog! I love everything you said, and thank you so much for offering to chat. Merry Christmas!

      Reply
  4. Kelly Tomasulo

    Lol! We’ll said! Welcome to motherhood. One thing I do know our kids grow up fast so my experience is spend the time with them and look forward to seeing friends later. Don’t worry about the house and the little things it really doesn’t matter. Most of all make them always Number 1. Enjoy!

    Reply
    1. Brooke Post author

      Hi Kelly! Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my blog! I’m sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Thank you for the welcome to motherhood and the solid advice. I appreciate your feedback! Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.

      Reply

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